Mar 1, 2019
As I've been getting some inquiries, I thought I'd post a State of the Podcast Update:
Confession Time: After a lot of introspection, I think I've finally figured out the Big Thing that's been stalling me in regards to my podcast recently. When listeners talk about my show, many times one of the biggest compliments I get is how positive I am about the source material I'm reviewing (often also mentioning a contrast to some other podcasts that 'just complain about the show the whole time'). And I honestly really like that about my show too, because, as it's pretty obvious to many people who know me, I really love Doctor Who and sharing that love with other people is really nice for me.
But therein lies the snag: I really want to continue to stay super-positive on my podcast, but I'm honestly finding it very difficult when I'm not actually feeling that way, you know? I mean, yes, I'm very behind on doing any reviews about S11, but do you know why that is? Because I mostly didn't like it. There I said it. Yes, I can find positive things to say about some bits of it of here and there, but overall it was mostly disappointing. And so in lieu of saying negative things the whole time about it on my show, I guess I just sort of shut down and didn't want to say anything at all.
The thing is with me, I can't be fake, even if I try. And I really don't want to lie about what I felt about the season or, perhaps, just stick with saying 'only positive things'. But I also really don't want to scare people off. I mean, it's not like it's been easy lately in fandom anyway, as it seems that when you have any issues with the season, a lot of people just immediately write you off as just hating a female Doctor, being misogynist, or racist, or [fill-in-the-blank-ism], and don't even take the time to listen to any valid criticisms you might have. That or they just call you an idiot for not liking it (which I keep hearing a lot, honestly). And that can be very alienating.
Don't get me wrong, I love Jodie Whittaker as an actress on the whole and I really, really looked forward to S11 with her (I even have an episode dedicated to my squee about it from back when she was cast). And I really (mostly) love the rest of the cast as well. My issues mostly do not lie with them, but instead how those characters were written and, hell, how most of the stories were written.
We have a saying in fandom about how sometimes things are just 'not my Doctor Who'. It doesn't mean that aspect of the show is inherently bad or whatever, just not really what you're personally looking for in the show. And as a very long-time watcher of both the Classic and 'New' series, I can tell you that the show goes in and out of those phases for me several times. And ultimately that's fine with me. Yes, it's sad because I always want to be in love with my show constantly, but I also understand that's just not the nature of the beast that is decades and decades of Doctor Who.
Anyway, all that to say: I think I'm just going to scrap my individual episode reviews of series 11 (even though I have a million notes for each episode!) and just work on some sort of overview episode instead. Admittedly, that's really scary for me and it's probably going to be hard for me to do, as I'm not super-keen on ranting or talking badly about my favorite show. But I also think that I should just bite the bullet and get my thoughts out there anyway, as ultimately that's what my podcast is about (and who knows, maybe there's someone else out there feeling alienated that might relate to what I have to say).
I mean, I don't think I'm going to actually rewatch any of the episodes, at least not any time soon, as honestly I really don't feel inclined to do so at all. And so my overview thoughts might all just be cobbled together from memory and said notes. But I think that's what I need to do for now, so that I can finally try to move forward with my show and get out of this impasse, instead doing reviews on other stories that do make me joyful, and continue to hope that S12 is much, much better for me. I mean, at the end of the day, I really do miss making episodes, and connecting with other fans, and just really just want to get back on track as soon as I can.
Anyway, thanks so much for reading (and listening to my podcast!). It means the world to me.